BASKETBALL ALL OVER THE PLACE!

As you well know, I get all my information from the most reliable source possible: my friends. One friend just posted the following breaking news on his Facebook:

the warriors beat the jazz last night + the grizzlies are beating the magic as i type this + the bulls are beating everyone=it's going to be a good year.

Let's analyze:

The Warriors have defeated The Jazz.
I'm not sure how to feel about the outcome of this contest, nor who I was rooting for in the beginning. But in the end, how can I not root for a team named after one of my favorite movies? Jazz is sometimes good. But Jazz can also be very bad. However, if any member of The Jazz came out on the court and chanted "Waaaarriors... come out to playeeeaaay", then I will officially root for this team and mourn their loss.

The Grizzlies are currently beating Magic.
That, of course, stands to reason. However, given that Orlando "Magic" Johnson is a 52 year old man with AIDS, the simple fact that he has taken on an entire basketball club by himself makes this a triumph in and of itself.


The Bulls are doing very well at what it is they do.
The Bulls have won championship matches and award-winning tournaments. Is Michael Jackson still their star player, or is he training for another season of baseball after watching the last season of Eastbound and Down? Has Scottie Pippen proven himself as the superior athlete? Will Bill Lambeer be the Larry Bird of 2011? It is too early in the season to tell, friends.

COUNTDOWN TO THE SUPER BOWL!

It is with deep regret that i waited until the end of football season to learn to sportz. I hope to milk every last drop from its final week in the countdown to the Super Bowl Sunday.

thanks to my Facebook friends, I now which football clubs will be competing in the competition. I was very excited to learn that the Pittsburgh Steelers will be pitted against the Green Bay Packers football team. It will surely take me well until game time to decide who it is I'm rooting for (seriously! how do I decide?)

The Super Bowl is the perfect opportunity for Sportz ignorants like myself to bond with our Sportz-loving buddies and drink lots of Gatorade and beers and pizza and any number of other foods that you hold with your hands and can dip into melted cheese.

Also, commercials.

Basketball Season?!

According to my facebook and twitter feeds, there are basketball games on tv. One could only assume that means basketball season is upon us.

Some of my friends are watching The Lakers and other ones are watching The Celtics. Seems logical to assume this is the same game. If they are, in fact, playing against each other, I should think this is maybe kind of a big deal because it used to be kind of a big deal (didn't it?). I remember when I was a wee lad, the Celtics and Lakers were arch rivals. This rivalry was also immortalized in the hipster bible Sex Drugs and Coco Puffs by Chuck Klosterman:

As I have grown older, it's become clear that the Lakers-Celtics rivalry represents absolutely everything: race, religion, politics, mathematics, the reason I'm still not married, the Challenger explosion, Man vs. Beast, and everything else. There is no relationship that isn't a Lakers-Celtics relationship.

That concludes everything I know about these teams save for their star players were at the height of this rivalry Larry Bird and Magic Johnson. White people loved Bird because he excelled in one of the few fields white people fail to dominate providing them with the rare opportunity to feel like an underdog. Unfortunately, no matter how many more points Larry Bird scored, Magic was still banging more white women, and in the end, that is all that really matters. Larry Bird is dead for all I know, but Magic Johnson - last I checked (and I don't check often) is still playing basketball and banging white women. As far as I'm concerned, the Lakers won the war. I will not, however, know who won this particular battle until someone posts the results on their twitter.