Hockey!

Hockey is a sportz, y'all. And our own Nashville Predators have won so many contests they are now semi champions in their fields. As I understand, they are in a face-off series with Canucks.Though tonight they did not win, they will live to sportz another day. As evidenced in this bar, sportz breaks hearts, folks. There are many tears in many beers.

Will the Predetz win some more games? Will they win the Manly Cup? Those kinds of sportz only remain to be seen.


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Not only did I pick the right team, but remember the square I picked earlier? It won me $40.

I love to sportz!


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Intensity!

Seems like things are getting intense up in here. The score is close and there are only a matter minutes left. Everyone in the room keeps screaming but I haven't yet been able to connect what exactly it Is on screen that inspires such excitement so I just scream too.

Go Packets!


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Well

I've been out of the room for awhile. But there's been lots of screaming going on around the tv. Lots of sportz are happening here tonight.

And my team is still winning. Time for another beer.

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Wow

Apparently there are rapists on the team. And I thought hockey was hardcore.

Not taking my eyes off the screen until after the next rape penalty.


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Huh?

I just spent 30 min in the kitchen talking about Silkworm, the trials and tribulations of freelancing and drug deals gone awry only to walk back in the living room to find that all the Super Bowl players have been replaced by puppies. Very confused.


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1st period update

"skeet skeet, bitch. Four yards" - Jon Decious.

The team I chose is winning. But I think the technical sportz jargon above is in defense of the Steelers.

I put $1 on a square. I'm told this could win me something.

Also, the Black Eyed Peas? Really?




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Superbowl update!

I've had 4 beers and 4 styles of bean dip. But neither team has any points.

Apparently both teams have immaculate defense. This is the best of my understanding so far.

Something exciting just happened but I missed it bc I was blogging.

Location:Lynn Dr,Nashville,United States

Live bloggin'!

I paid $2.99 for a Blogspot app so I could live blog my Super Bowl sportz experience!

Are you ready to learn 2 sportz in real time?!

So far, the hor d'ourves are excellent and I think the game has started. More to come!

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LET'S SUPER BOWL!

Today is the Super Bowl. As you can tell by its title, this game is either "very good" or "excellent" or an extra or unwanted game. Though, given its immense popularity, I'm guessing it's not the latter.

It's occurred to me that when watching the Super Bowl – or any televised competitive game – that a side must be chosen. I have less than an hour to overcome my ambivalence and express a preference for one team over the other. Given that I haven't seen any of this seasons' games and know virtually nothing about either team, this is going to either very challenging or completely arbitrary.

Seriously, how does a sportz ignorant such as myself pick a side?!

Let's start with basics, look at our options and weigh their pros and cons:

GREEN BAY PACKERS

[+]Green Bay, Wisconsin sounds like a pretty boring place - however it 1. sounds kind of like Green Day, and 2. was name-dropped in NOFX's "Punk Guy". So far, Green Bay is feeling pretty punk rock to me.

[-]They have poor taste in team colors. Green and yellow? This team has a Limon Twist that isn't sitting right with me.

[+]Wisconsin is well known for exporting delicious cheeses. Hence, their team is named for the men and women who make their livings packing these cheeses into containers. I appreciate these working class vibes.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS

[-]A few great bands have come from Pennsylvania: The Dead Milkmen, The Human Beinz, Atom and his Package, but all those are from Philadelphia or Youngstown. Even after a decent amount of research, the only band I can find from Pittsburgh is Rusted Root. Not very rock n roll, Pittsburgh.

[+]What's up wit this helmet logo? most teams just have a mascot or the first letter of their name. These guys have some weird three star shit going on. I don't know what this means, and I don't know what a "Steeler" is. So, I feel like there's perhaps some mysterious masonic, illuminati shit going on behind this team. I like it.

eh. okay. i've got 2 pros for Green Bay and only one for Pittsburgh.

GREEN BAY IT IS!

BASKETBALL ALL OVER THE PLACE!

As you well know, I get all my information from the most reliable source possible: my friends. One friend just posted the following breaking news on his Facebook:

the warriors beat the jazz last night + the grizzlies are beating the magic as i type this + the bulls are beating everyone=it's going to be a good year.

Let's analyze:

The Warriors have defeated The Jazz.
I'm not sure how to feel about the outcome of this contest, nor who I was rooting for in the beginning. But in the end, how can I not root for a team named after one of my favorite movies? Jazz is sometimes good. But Jazz can also be very bad. However, if any member of The Jazz came out on the court and chanted "Waaaarriors... come out to playeeeaaay", then I will officially root for this team and mourn their loss.

The Grizzlies are currently beating Magic.
That, of course, stands to reason. However, given that Orlando "Magic" Johnson is a 52 year old man with AIDS, the simple fact that he has taken on an entire basketball club by himself makes this a triumph in and of itself.


The Bulls are doing very well at what it is they do.
The Bulls have won championship matches and award-winning tournaments. Is Michael Jackson still their star player, or is he training for another season of baseball after watching the last season of Eastbound and Down? Has Scottie Pippen proven himself as the superior athlete? Will Bill Lambeer be the Larry Bird of 2011? It is too early in the season to tell, friends.

COUNTDOWN TO THE SUPER BOWL!

It is with deep regret that i waited until the end of football season to learn to sportz. I hope to milk every last drop from its final week in the countdown to the Super Bowl Sunday.

thanks to my Facebook friends, I now which football clubs will be competing in the competition. I was very excited to learn that the Pittsburgh Steelers will be pitted against the Green Bay Packers football team. It will surely take me well until game time to decide who it is I'm rooting for (seriously! how do I decide?)

The Super Bowl is the perfect opportunity for Sportz ignorants like myself to bond with our Sportz-loving buddies and drink lots of Gatorade and beers and pizza and any number of other foods that you hold with your hands and can dip into melted cheese.

Also, commercials.

Basketball Season?!

According to my facebook and twitter feeds, there are basketball games on tv. One could only assume that means basketball season is upon us.

Some of my friends are watching The Lakers and other ones are watching The Celtics. Seems logical to assume this is the same game. If they are, in fact, playing against each other, I should think this is maybe kind of a big deal because it used to be kind of a big deal (didn't it?). I remember when I was a wee lad, the Celtics and Lakers were arch rivals. This rivalry was also immortalized in the hipster bible Sex Drugs and Coco Puffs by Chuck Klosterman:

As I have grown older, it's become clear that the Lakers-Celtics rivalry represents absolutely everything: race, religion, politics, mathematics, the reason I'm still not married, the Challenger explosion, Man vs. Beast, and everything else. There is no relationship that isn't a Lakers-Celtics relationship.

That concludes everything I know about these teams save for their star players were at the height of this rivalry Larry Bird and Magic Johnson. White people loved Bird because he excelled in one of the few fields white people fail to dominate providing them with the rare opportunity to feel like an underdog. Unfortunately, no matter how many more points Larry Bird scored, Magic was still banging more white women, and in the end, that is all that really matters. Larry Bird is dead for all I know, but Magic Johnson - last I checked (and I don't check often) is still playing basketball and banging white women. As far as I'm concerned, the Lakers won the war. I will not, however, know who won this particular battle until someone posts the results on their twitter.